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Sunday, February 27th, 2005
10:36 pm - Still alive
Just lettin people know I'm still alive.



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Wednesday, July 21st, 2004
11:05 pm - Well?
I'm getting tired of this shit. Is this all life is really about? Go about our day untill we die. Have our world crumble down on us in a matter of seconds? Something that everyone spends so much time on, and poof, it's all over in a matter of seconds? That's just not fair. It's sick, and it's fucked up, and some how it always seems to happen to the nice people.

Another passing in the family. My cuz William. Dunno how, just heard from my dad about it, and he read it in the paper, so not much is known. He was one of the few good ones on my moms side of the family, and only 36 years old. Everyone is dropping like flys, and this opens up yet another door way. Of everything comes in 3, he will be the first and now I will be in total fear of who the next two will be in the year to come.
It always goes like this. Someone I know and care about, someone I hardly knew, and someone that has been a big part of my life and I cared for deeply.

I dunno, I hope I am wrong about my three deal, but 3 outa 3 are pretty good odds. Which is sad considering now I've known 10 people that have passed, and it isn't going to stop.

Just when I start pulling myself back up, I drop all the way to the bottom again. I don't even want to think about the next two...

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Thursday, May 27th, 2004
5:28 am - ....
I know no one reads my journal, and thats fine for me. I just need something to filtering things out. I know I don't get personal here, but I don't care anymore. I know I didn't post it, so for those of you that don't know, my mom passed away the 14th.

Things have been hard, but I know things will only get harder, as they are now. I have the feeling of being worthless, no meaning. Just empty. The dreams are starting, anyone that has lost a loved one knows about the dreams. I use to tell my mom about all the dreams I had when they didnt set well with me, now I don't have anyone. Everyone that said they would be here for me, nowhere to be seen.

I have that empty feeling and no one to talk to, no one that is really there for me. Despite the people that make claims.

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Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
2:55 am
Life sucks, but I guess thats life right? I look back at an old quote. If breathing is the only good thing you've got going, is it really a good thing?

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Friday, April 30th, 2004
5:07 am - Ohhhhh Yeaaaaaaa!
Up-date. THings are going pretty good, very good as a matter of fact. Got a GREAT g/f, car lot could be goin a bit better though (www.ajsautos.com) BUY A CAR PLEASE, I NEED RENT! My mom goes in for surgery soon, bit shakey on that. But things are great.... Only problem is.. I keep waiting to hear that damn gun go off.

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Thursday, March 25th, 2004
9:28 pm - Up-Date
Yea, so. I really dont have anything to say in an up-date but I am bored and can't help but wasting even more of my time typing here. Right now I look like a fuckin tomato, my face is so damn red because of the auctuon today. Which yet again, I got NOTHING! But dere is always Tuesday I suppose... *Shrugs*

Things have just been, I dunno. I wanna say bad, horrible, ect. but I dont think any of those words really do match. I dunno which way I am going, how I am going to get dere or if anyone is gonna help me get dere. I dunno. Normally when things are shitty, its either my health or my mind. Now both are shot. My heath is how you say, not to great right now, and mentally, well lets just say it seems everyone just wants to add to my stress, unease and security, den try to help me. As for my health, I just keep gettin sick, dere is no reason for this. I think I have something wrong with me, but none of the doctors seem to really care. I'm going back Saturday to see a doc. Maybe I can demand help..
Ahh, I dunt wanna type anymore.

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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
9:07 pm - Up-date
Just another up-date. I lack from sleep major right now. Was out to late for my own good last night. Me and my homie rented a limo last night to go out with my g/f and his wife. Great night, had lots of fun and it was great seein Char, cause I've been sick and it had been a week since we seen eachother, so no regrets dere. But I had to go to some 6 hour class for my dealers lisence (ONCE AGAIN MIND YOU, I'VE DONE IT BEFORE =() which started at 8, and my ride wanted to get dere hella early, so I ended up having to wake up at 6. So I got home at 2 and didnt get to sleep till like 4 because I'm still a bit sick and had a coughing fit last night. Goin back to the doc tomorrow for a check-up, cause I've still got that damn cough and my ears are kinda plugged still.

Well, my team made play-offs, but I couldnt play cause I got real sick (Thanks again Char =P) anyways, they got knocked out firswt round, from what I heard they were up 4-1 in the 3rd and den blew it 4-6 final, Bruins. The team I NEVER loose to. Oh well, I hated the Kings anyways. I wanted to get traded, dunno whats goin on, might not play that leauge anymore. Its too poorly ran and set. He knows who is going to make and win play-offs, the start of the season, and I dont like that.

Anyways, I am gonna go lay down, just thought I would leave a little up-date.


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Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
5:25 am - Ahh
Yes I am still alive, and no you can't kill me.

Well it's been awhile since I've up-dated. Things are going rather good in life right now. (Common, how long is that gonna last, RIGHT? Lol) Good news, I don't have to work till 3am this Newyears. Happy about that, atlest I'll be loose till last call. Ohhhh yaaa! =) Jersey is rocking and so are the Sharks (Maybe with alittle luck, Sharks will make play-offs this season!)

In other news, I think I may of made up my mind. I don't think I will be returning to the league I am in next season. The fucker that runs it is just to damn shady. Always stackin the fuckin teams. So I am either gonna stick to pick-ups for awhile or go play at Disney, all depending on if I get my weekends off before next season, and if they need a goalie and if I think the drive will be worth it. I dunno, we'll see though.

Um yea, it's 5:30 in the morning, I think I should goto sleep. Maybe I'll up-date more later...


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Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
1:28 am - Welp
Well peeps, it's me again, bad happening on this end, some pretty bad shit as a matter of fact. You all know I dont like to get to personal on here, but. Just trust me when I say I haven't been this fuckin sad and depressed for almost 10 years. But atlest this time I have a bottle in front of me and I do plan on hitting it. To some of the close people I talk to, they know why the death of M. Stover made me so peranoid for awhile, and this just. I dunno. DOES NOT HELP ME ANY

But why is it when someone needs my help, they're always around, but when I need someone, they are nowhere around?

Same as when Mike died, only a handful of people around. Well I am rather sick of it. Back to the bottle. Peace

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Thursday, October 30th, 2003
3:55 am - Ok, so I joined in
My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Newjerseyash goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Leather Face.
barko gives you 8 dark green lime-flavoured wafers.
crashoverride tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy!
flower899 gives you 17 pink grape-flavoured gummy fruits.
goalies gives you 13 brown chocolate-flavoured gummy bears.
hnicholet tricks you! You get a pen cap.
jaycee gives you 4 red-orange pineapple-flavoured wafers.
offmycloud gives you 5 light orange mint-flavoured hard candies.
pimphand tricks you! You lose 14 pieces of candy!
regina_checkbla tricks you! You get a piece of string.
whatever2000 tricks you! You get a pencil.
Newjerseyash ends up with 30 pieces of candy, a pen cap, a piece of string, and a pencil.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

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Wednesday, October 29th, 2003
3:15 am - Woo Ya
Welp my team won again tonight. 4-7. Don't let the score fool you, it was a rather close game for most part. I stood on my head and stoped about 8-10 shots in the first and we scored 3 goals, second period we got a goalie, den they scored 3 unanswered goals. The first one, the puck bounced over my stick and leg pad. (DAMN ICE) Second one I blocked the first shot with my leg pad that was taken glove side and it went right to one of the Leafs sticks, and defence didnt do shit and he ran a raparound. It was close and I thought I had it, but it ended up I didnt. The third one was scored because my defence thought they should leave the Leafs best player wide open for the pass on the other side of the net, and well, he scored. after that it was 3-4 but in the third we scored 3 more and they got one other goal on a power-play... Great game though all the way to the last 10mins.

I feel good this season. I know I'm finally gonna break my curse of not being able to make play-offs. My teams record now is 4-2 and my record (Having missed 2 games) is 3-1 and I havent lost my last 3 games played. So I feel we're gonna atlest make play-offs if I can keep this hot streak up. Although I do give credit where credit is due. My offense won the last game we played. With the final score being 7-8 it sure the hell wasnt me that helped any, although I do believe I made some key saves, and I defense was nowhere to be found that night.. But if the Sharks loose tomorrow, we will be tied for first place. Meaning we're gonna be stack against.. Oh well.

Also I do owe a thank you to my good luck charm.. Even though you wernt dere =P.

Peace out people,

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003
2:57 am
Nothing to report. Same ol shit, just a different smell.

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Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
2:22 am - Yea
So. Yea, shit has been pretty weird latly. Just I dunno how to explain it to tell you the truth. I've felt really bad as of late, been having some really strange dreams. They are like something you'd see on a Twilight Zone ep or some shit. I also have this very very bad gut feeling that something bad is going to happen. Like something just isn't right, kinda the same feeling I had when I got chased and almost killed on the freeway. To top it all off though, like so many weird things have been happening. Like my friend dieing in that car reck, another friend of mine was in a car reck, and another and my coach was in one too. Among alot of other weird things happening. Like my breaks went completly out last week. I mean, no stopping what so ever without the E break. But den they started working again, and I couldnt find a damn problem with them.

I dunno, you ever get that feeling that you're being lied to. You know what I mean? Like that weird feeling? Well I have that feeling like 24/7 now. My friends are acting so fucking weird too now. Its crazy. I dunno if they are acting weird or if it's just me, but they seem like totally different people. Like one of my friends yesterday. I so much needed someone to talk to, so I call one of my best friends to see if I could come over and talk for about 10mins, and he fucking rejected me. Just flat out said no. I'm still in shock from that one. Among everyone I know, I thought he'd be the last one to refuse helping me. It's so weird though, cause it always seems when someone I know has a problem, I am the first person they come to. But when I have a problem, no one is having it. Maybe its just me, maybe I am just going fuckin bonkers. I dunno. But everything really is starting to scare me though.

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Friday, September 26th, 2003
6:19 am - Well shit
Here be another up-date by me. I just got back home, had a hell of a night with lots of weed and lots of southernComfort. I be like chillin an shit right now. Thinkin bout smoking abit more. Matter of fact I think I will.

Ahh, that's better. Well alot has happend in the world of Ash. Went to Vegas for my 21st which ROCKED. This Birthday was so much more better den my last birthday. Ah, I'm like the fuckin walkin reason why not to kill yourself. Life was so fucked up at this time last year. Now things could not be any better. Well they could, but yea. Let me get back to Vegas. First night sucked, even though me and my buddy Dopey were getting comped for free drinks everywhere we went, and I won about $300. I was kinda depressed because no one called to wish me a happy birthday, well one friend did. I can understand why noone did. I was in Vegas, and no one wanted to bug me. But I guess I was just a depressed drunk that night.

Second night, I lost about $800, but had the fucking funnest time. Got to live out a childhood dream, of watching bikini mud wrestling. It was fun as hell. I was so shit faced though. But good times, good times. I also kicked back with my buddy Ron that moved out dere about 4months ago. So that was fun seeing him again. Got more shitfaced and talked to the coolest bartender for awhile. Next day was the leaving day. so it wasnt that fun. Got home, rested the rest of that day and da next day I go out to Gameworks with my friend Drew. We had 3 kamakazies, Zombie, Birthday shot (151Rum Pepshnabs) Car bomb (Beer that you chug with a shot of your choice in it. We got a Southern Peach shot in it) and a Jack The Ripper drink that had to of had everthing known to man in it. So I was pretty smashed. Never been drunker in my life.

So we're smashed and go outside to smoke a cig and wait for Drew girlfriend. This girl I know calls me to imform me that the ducks beat the Sharks. For starters, it's a post season game, so I don't care. BUT ANYWAYS. We talked fer awhile about, I dunno what (Still won't admit it =P) but that lasted awhile cause my phone went dead. Um, nothing really happened since. So yea. Very interesting times man.


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Sunday, September 7th, 2003
1:19 am - Not playoff bound =(
Well, we missed play-offs by one little fuckin point. No one on the team wanted it. I think I was the only one. It was just sad out dere, watchin my team was like watching the 3 fuckin stooges. I took 20 shots in just the first period, half of which were odd man and breakaways. I had to of taken about 35 shots that night. Which is just sad. We couldn't score, we couldn't do shit. I hate that fuckin team, only reason I am sticking with them is because they're being rebuilt next season.

Oh well, peace out

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Friday, August 15th, 2003
7:00 am - Play-off bound?
Well we did it. We finally took our heads outa our asses and took a 8th place seeded play-off spot from the sabres. Will we be able to keep it though is the question... Wish us luck, only 2 more games to go, and our next one will be against the Sabres!!!!

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6:51 am - In loving memorie.
Hey guys. I know it has been awhile since I've posted, but I wanted to post this.

A Hockey friend of mine died Monday the 11th in a car reck. He was ejected from the flipping car ans was badly injured. He was anounced dead about 11 hours later do to head trama.
Michael was only 14 years old, but was one of the nicest kids and greatest hockey players I have ever met, and really had a bright future in the game.

But this sad tragic happening has really opened my eyes alot. I will no longer take anything or one for granted. Considering my last words to Michael were "I'll see ya later dude, I'm sure of it" while I was locking up the rink...

Well to everyone, I am sorry most of us have lost touch and I would really like to change that. Please IM me when you have a chance. If I am around, I will not ignore you.

Peace to everyone. Be safe

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Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003
2:33 am - Ah shit
Welp, I am on the IR list. *Sigh* banged my knee up pretty bad. Was practicing my skating a little, and my friend was on the ice too, took a slap-shot and BAM right in the knee. Alot of pain, I'm down for atlest a week. Atlest I dont have to put up with the Leafs tomorrow. Check my website http://www.geocities.com/onhlkings for an outcome of the game, and added pics, just none of me, cause I'm IR =(

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Monday, May 26th, 2003
12:57 am - Wow
Wow man, I was talking to a friend of mine, knew me way back from the talkcity days. One of the very short list that I consider a friend and treat with respect though I haven't met em, only on-line. Erin, er Amanda, er whatever her name is now a days, actally introduced us on TalkCity a long ass time ago. Anyways, he asked me if I've been around TalkCity latly, of course I haven't, but it still got me thinking of the old days. It was weird thinkin about everyone from back from those days. Like Bill, Leeann, Ashly, Erin er whatever, Mike, Jen, Amber, Bec, and all the rest that I remember, but can't think of dere names. Its like wow, so fucking long ago. I think the last time I showed my face around TalkCity was like in 99 maybe.

Those times were hell, but I wouldn't change a damn thing if I had the chance to do everything over, I would do everything the same way as I did it. Even though I think most of the people from those days prob hate me more den anything =), to all dere own. Hell, no names, but dere are afew people I don't blame for hating me. Some of the things I've said or done to people have been outa line, yes. But lets face it, no one gave a shit about me, in those days anyways. Of course alot of em would pretend, but bullshit. I havent heard a peep outa anyone from those days other den Bill, and I'm sure I'm on his "Top 5 people to kill when I go nuts" list.

I am admittingly going to say though, that I do miss chatting with afew people from those days though, but I sure as hell ain't gonna even try to talk to anyone from those days really, cause I have no idea who I've pissed off or who has gotten over it, or who thinks I'm pissed at them. But if anyone that sees this from the old days wants to IM me and chit-chat, feel free, fresh start, no hard feelings on either end. My AIM name is YxY Ash YxY and Yahoo name is Ash_213. Feel free to hit me up sometime. If I don't answer, dont get all butt hurt about it, I'm either at work, sleeping, playing hockey or just plain out, and I'll get back to ya.

Well I've type enough. Peace out all

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Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
3:50 am - First game. No go.
Well first game of the first season. I got traded (Which was a GOOD thing) to the Kings (Maybe dere is a god?) and recruited some good players I know, looking good for game one, but den I couldn't play cause I had to work. So my back-up (Shouldnt be called my back-up cause hes better den me, but he plays out and in and I only play in so I took the spot as starter) anyways, Things start off bad, first five seconds into the game, the Ducks scored. LSS The Kings lost to the ducks 10 seconds in OT 5-4 oh well, I dont care till we play the Stars =)

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